When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
