I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
