Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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