I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
