Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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