It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You pole danced in your parka.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
