it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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