dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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