Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
