Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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