So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
