Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
