The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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