I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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