sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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