I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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