I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
