I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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