i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
