I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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