At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
