at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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