I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
