As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We're too hungover to prance.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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