dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
