note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
