two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize