At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
