she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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