my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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