you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize