no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
