this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
