Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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