You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
