Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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