my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
