totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So vagazzling was a success
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
