Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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