in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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