It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
smell my finger.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
