JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
