his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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