i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
