I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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