I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
