It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
