My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
