It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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