Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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