dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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