are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
