Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
