last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
