I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
