i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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