If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
