I feel great
I just peed on a car
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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