what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
